The Editing Song

It depends on who you ask. Some writers love editing. Others? They hate it. Like, with the fury of ten thousand fire ants kind of hate. Me? I think I'm on the fence. Some days I love it. Others, I'd rather walk barefoot through a field of spiders. Big ones. With lots of hair. And fangs.

You see where this is going...

I'm currently in the editing cave, working on something for the Deazen series. On the days I'm not feeling the editing love, I'm easily distracted. Since today is one of those days, I thought it would be appropriate to post one of my favorite distractions, The Editing Song. I wrote this to the tune of Sublime's What I Got (because that's the song I was listening to when I wrote it--ironically when I was supposed to be editing...)

Early in the morning, risin’ from my sleep

Brew me up a strong one, and I’ll strap slippers to my feet

Got to find the plot hole, the plot hole’s killin me

Need to find the reason why my plot has gone to sea

I got an Akita, and all she does is sleep

I can spin a cliché better than any of you peeps

Well, the plot’s too thin, you better bulk it up

Cause you might get requested, so don’t get fed up

Never have to wrestle punctuation or adjectives

I always cut em down with the headaches that they give

Take a small example, a tip from me

Take all your extra words, give em up to charity

Edits are what I got

They’re within my reach

Strunk and white’s style got me writin’ like a peach

When the call comes in, gonna get what you deserve

If of course submission guidelines you observed

Edits are what I got

My brains ready to riot

You’ll know when the deadline gets hot

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edit’s, they’re what I got

That’s why I don’t cry when my plot runs away

I don’t get angry at the words I have to slay

I don’t get mad when my hero hits the rocks

My middle sags and dark moment sucks

Plotting and writing, it’s all the same

Crankin' out the edit’s the only way to stay sane

Let the word flow, let the word flow, come back to me

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edits are what I got, I said get em done

Edits are what I got, I got, I got

So what about you guys? Favorite distraction?