Monday, April 15, 2013

Six Signs You've Got A Writer In Your Life...



Like most professions, writers have certain characteristics that set them apart from the mechanics, doctors, and duck hunters of the world. We’re fairly easy to spot if you know what to look for, so here are a few ways to identify the writer in your life.

1.  If you see someone you know constantly arguing with people that aren't there, they're probably a writer. Or an escapee from the mental ward. Could go either way…

2.  If their work uniform consists of fuzzy socks, tank tops, flannel pants, or pajama jeans, there’s a good chance they're a writer. Or a tragic fashion victim that likes soft things… (or both—like me)

3.  If someone in your life consumes more than a gallon of either coffee, jolt cola, or Mt Dew in a single twenty-four hour span, they're definably a writer. We thrive on caffeine. (warning - Stay clear in cases of caffeine shortage!)

4.  If a friend or loved one does something that makes you question their sanity, such as quizzing firemen on how to get away with arson or locking themselves in the trunk of your car to see how it feels, there's a good chance they're a writer. Or, again, an escapee from the mental ward. ( Funny how we share a lot of the same traits… ) 

5.  If they can’t resist the urge to rewrite ads (Newspaper, magazines, ect), rearranging sentences or changing and cutting repeated words, there’s a good chance you've got a writer.
  
6.  And lastly, if when people irritate them, you find your loved one drafting elaborate death scenes, complete with dialog, motivation, and possibly gratuitous amounts of torture, they're a writer. Or someone in need of psychiatric evaluation..

Am I forgetting anything? Do you have a writer in your life? What are some of the quirks that set them apart?


5 comments:

April C Rose said...

I'm completely guilty of #5. Just this evening, I was reading the back of my couscous directions when I said to my husband, "I can't imagine anyone fluffing couscous any way but 'lightly.' Seriously, how would you fluff it heavily? angrily?"

Then, of course, we mimed all the ways to "fluff" couscous...and then did it for real once it was time to serve.

Colette Ballard said...

I'm totally #5. Last summer, I was working as a volunteer for a 4-H fundraiser at a county fair alongside a very interesting carnie worker who enjoyed telling me his life story (with a little prompting, of course.) When he started complaining about his job, i asked him why he didn't join the army like his brother. His reply: "Can't, my record's too long."
The writer in me reeaaalllyy wanted to know what his record entailed, but i figured maybe it was a sign for me to reign it in. That and the fact that his good mood declined as the day went along due to him finding out the air-conditioning in his RV went out, his girlfriend lent someone $100-, oh, and he almost passed out from heat stroke.
100% true story--i can't make up something that good!!!

Colette Ballard said...

I'm totally #5. Last summer, I was working as a volunteer for a 4-H fundraiser at a county fair alongside a very interesting carnie worker who enjoyed telling me his life story (with a little prompting, of course.) When he started complaining about his job, i asked him why he didn't join the army like his brother. His reply: "Can't, my record's too long."
The writer in me reeaaalllyy wanted to know what his record entailed, but i figured maybe it was a sign for me to reign it in. That and the fact that his good mood declined as the day went along due to him finding out the air-conditioning in his RV went out, his girlfriend lent someone $100-, oh, and he almost passed out from heat stroke.
100% true story--i can't make up something that good!!!

Kurt Hampe said...

Ah... dreaming up horrible deaths for rivals. Love doing that.

almondgirl said...

Reading this was like, Check check check check...ohmygod I sound like a loser, but there's more of me out there!

Over Easter, while the family was down, I was researching blood splatter analytics and what would it look like if they were shot etc.; what does opium smell like; is drowning peaceful---really, just lots of suspect questions. It's truly amazing what you can find on the internet! Thank god I was born when I was. It would be so difficult (more difficult) to be a writer when Google wasn't around.